


Love of my Fucking Life

by art_my_love



Category: Queen (Band)
Genre: 80's Queen, Arguing, Break Up, Crying, Drunkenness, F/M, First Kiss, Get Together, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, Implied Sexual Content, Love Confessions, M/M, Set somewhere around the Magic Tour, Strong Language, There are no wives because I suck at writing them :D
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-07
Updated: 2020-06-07
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:49:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21704752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/art_my_love/pseuds/art_my_love
Summary: Brian May had enough of life's shit. After his girlfriend dumped him, all he wanted to do was drinking himself into sleep, but of course it was a harder task to perform than he first thought it to be. Having to deal with his breakup, and also discovering feelings towards Freddie, all the while while he is looking after his drunken friends...Brian's night is about to take a sharp turn, and he's not sure if he is liking it or not.
Relationships: Brian May/Freddie Mercury, John Deacon & Brian May & Freddie Mercury & Roger Taylor, John Deacon/Roger Taylor, Maycury - Relationship, frian - Relationship, joger - Relationship
Comments: 24
Kudos: 54





	1. The Start of a Long Night

"God save our precious Queen!" the crowd was cheering loudly, and the three of them were laughing as Freddie ran out onto the stage in his fluffy, red cloak and crown.

Brian was smiling as he was watching the others happily joining Freddie to their bow. He was so proud of them, he could never wished for a better family.

Yes, they were like his family... Caring and kind, who loved him, no matter that they acted like children sometimes. No matter what, they always cared about him.... Not like that girl he dated with.

Shit, he wasn't supposed to think about her right now. But he did. He didn't know why, but he couldn't stop the thoughts that were overflowing him. That girl... that girl who said she loved him back, who was supposed to marry him, then left him alone in the cold rain when they broke up. And the worst thing was, she hadn't done anything wrong... Well neither had he, to be exact. He looked at the lead vocalist again, and felt himself tearing up. Why was he such a sucker in love?

"Fuck" he cursed under his breath, as he felt the familiar needles in his eyes he had experienced so many times in the past few days.

  
He bit his lip, and put down his guitar, turning away from the crowd just for a minute, to hide his tears. He didn't have much time. All he could do was to inhale deeply, and wipe the fallen teardrops from his face, hoping they wouldn't notice the redness of his eyes.

_God, I'll need something much stronger after we've finished..._

  
He joined at his friends' side, putting on the best fake smile he could, waving at the crowd like the others did. Freddie tried to wrap his arms around him, but he shrugged away from it, giving a good aimed death glare at his direction... It might have been a stupid move to make, but Brian couldn't help it: he hated being touched when he was on the edge of tears. It was like testing out the most fragile vase: how much pressure could it take before breaking? Luckily the singer didn't seem offended, and started to seduce the poor bass guitarist instead of Brian, earning an objecting look now from Roger's direction.

  
They didn't spend much more time on the stage. They wished the audience a beautiful night and then rushed to their changing rooms feeling tired, but energetic from the great show they had performed at the same time.

Brian have decided to choose the more silent part of the room, and instead of listening to the others' nonsense, (Roger stole Deaky's jeans and didn't intend to give them back, while Freddie was laughing his ass off) he decided to actually organise his thoughts. 

Right now his mind was a gigantic mess, an instrument he didn't know how to play on. But no matter how much his mind protested, he needed to gain control over it quickly, if he didn't want to mess up his friends' joyful day with his overreacting and stupid feelings. He just needed to be calm, and wait for a lonely moment when he could lay his hands on some alcohol, and-

"Bri?"

  
"WHAT?" He snapped at Freddie intensively, feeling anger bubbling up in him. The singer looked a little taken aback.

  
"We-we were just thinking about going to that pub we've seen before and wondering if you'd like to come with us?"

Roger peeked out from the cover of Freddie's shoulder, and joined in the conversation.

"Yeah, the one we've seen while travelling here. Not the bar in this building, god, it sells horrific drinks, believe me, I tried before show, and let me tell you-

  
"Thank you Roger, but you and John had already said yes. Unlike you, Bri, 'cause you just sat here lost in your thoughts..."

  
Brian let out a relieved sigh. _If they go out for a drink, I'd have some time alone to work out my freaking problems... And after that I could rejoin them, as if nothing has happened!_

  
"No thanks, I actually have some things to attend to... But I'll join you when I'm finished, okay?"

  
"You sure? Because we really wouldn't mind-"

"YES"

  
"Ok Bri, as you wish..."

  
The other three changed a concerned look, but left the room, with their staff and backpacks.

Brian looked around in the room he was in, all alone now.

After a quick trip to the building's bar -for once in his life he blessed Roger, for telling him about the place- he was ready for everything. He had already arranged his stay with their manager and the place's janitor, making up an excuse, that he needed a silent place where he could fix what was wrong with his guitar.

He sank down onto the cool floor, and looked at the bottles of beer he managed to get for himself. The guitarist torn off the cap from the bottle, and took a long gulp of the brownish liquid. _God, Roger wasn't kidding. This beer is outright horrible._

  
He frowned at the bottle he was holding before taking another leisurely sip. Okay, he was ready to cry now.


	2. The Burdens of a Bar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Freddie, Roger and John decides to spend their night in a bar, despite of Brian refusing to go with them. What was supposed to be a normal night however, quickly changes as soon as the musicians lay their hands on some alcohol. Who is the mysterious flirt with Freddie? What secret do Roger and Deaky share? But most importantly: Where on earth is Freddie's wallet?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Except some strong language (as usual) and some implied sexual content 😏  
> You have been warned!

Freddie was so fucked up at the moment.

They got into the bar in incognito, Roger with his hair pulled back, Deaky with a beanie covering his hair, and Freddie with a black, super curly wig, and a hoodie, all of them in average clothes, wearing dark sunglasses.

They felt utterly ridiculous, but the last thing they wanted to do was to catch the attention of the paparazzi by going there as recognizable. As soon as they entered, they've immediately rushed to the bartender, ordering the strongest drinks, as if racing with each other.

Freddie didn't know how much they had actually drunk, as there were still quite a few filled and empty glasses around him. He wasn't even sure anymore if there were really so many glasses there, or just his vision was fooling him.

He rubbed his eyes (the number of glasses still hasn't decreased), and discovered the bartender looking at him disapprovingly. His head hurt like hell, and he felt dizzy, which the bartender must have noticed because he explained he was waiting for Freddie to pay. 

The singer painfully lifted his left arm checking the pocket on the back of his trousers... Then his other pocket... Then all of them. No fucking way.

Did he lose his wallet? Was it stolen?Whichever way it was, being moneyless was quite a shame as Roger and Deaky left him earlier, and the only thing he knew was he didn't have anyone to borrow from. Even that mischievous man who flirted with him before left his side, although Freddie was not so sure of when did that happen.

His thoughts kept returning to his date for the night. God, he was such a beautiful creature, slim, a little muscular, with dark eyes and shoulder length, messy hair. Whenever he laughed his chocolate brown curls fell into his mischievous eyes, and upon doing so, he looked a lot like Brian (though Freddie wouldn't have said that out loud for the world). 

The stranger ordered the musician a couple of shots, while they were chatting about music and love. He had such a lovely face, smirking at him while flirting, then sliding ever so teasingly his hand into Freddie's back pocket. Gosh how it made him shiver and-

...Fuck, how couldn't he notice that before? This was probably the moment when that bastard robbed him. Freddie cursed the day when Mother Nature decided to make him such a useless person. As an act of a desperate man, he rummaged through his pockets again, only to find a note to read.

_"Nothing personal, sweetheart. I'm sure you won't miss a couple of bucks <3 Xxx Jack PS:You know what'll happen if you say anything about me to the police, don't you? Let's just say that everyone will get to know about your pretty obsession with men. Capiche, Darling?" _

Freddie was breathing fire. He was fooled from the beginning, only needed until that guy found his money. He wasn't careful enough at the beginning, and now he could worry about the fucking consequences... Just perfect! And he thought he'd have a good ride at the evening!

He helplessly scanned the crowded place, hoping to find Roger, John, or anyone who'd be able to pay for him. But of course, he wasn't that lucky. He turned back, and shared an embarrassed laugh with the bartender. Freddie guessed the man had already found out his identity, as he let the singer to go and search for his friends.

Freddie made a little bow with his head, feeling his mouth failing to form any normal words, and with a quick move of adjusting his hoodie, he found his shades and wig missing. Just like his wallet. If that Jack guy got it off so easily of him, he was damn sure about Freddie's identity. Which meant he could tell all the people that he robbed Freddie Fucking Mercury.

Jesus, what other things did that man know? Surely he didn't get out any other information from Freddie? The note said it wasn't anything personal... So as long as he could believe a liar's word, he was safe. Just great.

The singer licked his lips nervously, and almost managed to throw up. He could remember now why the taste on his lips seemed so foreign, as it once belonged to that fucker's mouth.

_Jesus, this is so sick! I can't even remember what we've talked about, but know exactly how affectionate our kiss was... There must be something wrong with me._

He wiped his mouth in the sleeve of his coat, trying to forget that poisonous man, catching his lips with his own, twisting their tongues like the words that he spilled. Steadying himself with grabbing one of the pillars, he took some deep breathes, then managed to continue his search.

He couldn't find none of his friends, so he settled down at an empty cloakroom. It currently wasn't in use, so with its dark and quiet atmosphere, and the nice scarlet curtains, it offered a great place to think. He sat down and huddled up, placing his aching head in his hands, trying to think of a place where he haven't searched for his mates yet. Surely they didn't left without him, right? Or did they?

He suddenly heard a loud noise. It might have been just his drunkenness and he was imagining things, but he could swore he heard Roger's voice somewhere.

He heard it again, this time louder, and now Freddie was sure of himself. He also noticed that the sounds were coming from behind the curtains. He approached its source silently, and then with a sudden movement, drew the curtains away. What he found there however, made his jaw dropping, his lips forming a silent o under his moustache. His eyes widened, as he took in the sight of his lost band mates whimpering on top of each other.

Roger was pressed against the wall, his T-shirt lying with his coat on the floor. His trousers were unbuttoned, and his hair was a mess, as an also half naked John Deacon had his right hand grabbing into the golden locks. His other hand was wrapped tightly around the drummer's shoulders.

The blonde held onto the others torso like he was clinging to dear life, his nails marking the back of the bassist's body. He used his other hand to press their hips together, moving together in a steady, but hastening movement, while they shared a passionate, hungry kiss, biting and kissing down on every inch of each other's lips.

"Wow, you guys look damn sexy" Freddie examined them as he finally found something to say.

The other two froze in their movements. Roger quickly pushed down John off of himself, earning a pained cry from the poor brunette as he hit the ground. They both felt their cheeks heating up as Freddie surveyed them with an amused smirk on his lips.

"This isn't what you think Freddie!"

"Yeah, I mean- not at all!" The bassist joined as he rubbed the aching flesh where he hit his ankle.

"Guuuhys, I can tell what's happening here." In a minute, Freddie's calm voice changed into a high, whining one, probably thanks to the giant amount of alcohol in his system.

"You guys are just horrible! Brian, Brian!" He stormed out of the room, not listening at all at what his friends were saying.

"He didn't even arrive yet, slow down you drunk dick"

Eventually, Roger gave up on Freddie and decided to gather his clothes, sharing a quick kiss with his partner while doing so. He and John dressed up and tried to rearrange their disguise as quickly as they could (which wasn't an easy task when neither of them was exactly sober), then commonly linked arms, and walked out of the cloaking room together, looking for any signs of Freddie.

After a while, by some miracle they did find the singer, accompanied by the tall, curly haired guitarist. When they arrived, Freddie just recovered from a coughing fit, before continuing talking to Brian in an ear-piercing voice.

"And Briii, the worst part is they've just had sex without telling us!!!" Freddie whined, throwing his arms around the poor man. His whole body was stinking from alcohol, but his breath was above everything, as Brian unluckily discovered.

It might not have been so, but the couple felt all of the world's eyes on them. Freddie had an enormous voice, which was a gift while singing, but a curse in everyday life. Where Roger's and John's arms touched, they felt like their skin was on fire, and although they didn't move their hands, they looked away clearly embarrassed, with faces as red as Brian's special guitar.

"Freddie, we didn't-"

"And we'd have told you after we've finished"

"Hey! Deacon, whose side are you on!?"

Brian shook his head disapprovingly.

"Let's... Let's get out of here, before you three start a scuffle."

The two lovers nodded, but Freddie just smacked his pocket on his own ass with a dramatic sigh.

"No money, Bri. Help meee"

Brian sighed frustratedly, but payed for their drinks anyway. He didn't dare to ask where Freddie's wallet was.

The guitarist waved down a taxi while the other three was trying to keep their balance with clinging onto each other. After convincing the driver that no, none of them was going to throw up, and if they did, yes, Brian would pay for the seats, they could enter the taxi, and finally -for Brian's very much relief- could start their way back to their hotel.

When they arrived at the hotel they got quickly out of the car, letting all of hell to break loose, as the three plastered musicians threw up ungracefully into a nearby wastebin. During the incident, Brian fidgeted for a little time with his wallet -clearly embarrassed about his friends' behaviour- but managed to pay anyway.

They solved the problem of stairs with using the elevator, and after a quarter of an hour (they were trying to unlock the door, when they remembered the door opened with a card, and all this time they were forcing the key of Brian's house into the miserable keyhole), they could finally enter their room.

They had two bedrooms with french beds, but they were so tired that nobody wanted to go to the further room. At the end, the four of them ended up in one bed, tumbling on top of eachother. After a short argument of why did their hotel room needed a keyhole, if there weren't any keys, they could finally manage to muffle Roger with a pillow, silencing him for the rest of the night.

Being as tired and drunk as they were, as soon as the room fell into silence, sleep came easily to them, and they all drifted into a deep, dreamless sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys!  
> Thanks for reading the second chapter of my work. I had this written for a long time, but it took a lot of time for me to correct it. Yeah, I'm basically never satisfied enough with the results, but I really hope that you've enjoyed this, and had a great time reading it.  
> Please feel free to comment and leave some kudos, if you feel like it. New chapter is in progress!


	3. A Night at the Balcony

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The band is trying to relax some, letting their hangover to just wear off during the day. Other than that, things seem to be back in their normal way... that's until Freddie finds Brian in the middle of the night, crying alone on the balcony.

They all slept like the dead that night. At the morning they agreed to take out a few days hence they all felt like shit, and knew they wouldn't get anything useful done soon.

Luckily, it was their last gig of the tour, meaning there weren't any concerts planned for them anytime soon, so they missed nothing with spending a few days in their hotel.

They stayed all day in bed, except Brian, who was still trying to fool his friends into thinking he was okay. He brought buckets for his nauseous friends, made them drink some water and swallow some pills, made them a light meal and listened to them when they needed his attention.

He made sure that every three of them had a shower before they went to bed that night, and he even made up a freaking fairy tale, because Freddie just wouldn't let him be without it. He was so tired when the evening came and he went to lay down next to his friends, that he could barely keep his eyes open.

However, no matter his tired body, his mind still didn't seem to rest. His eyes just wouldn't stay closed, sleep being nowhere in sight, and that was how he found himself laying awake in the middle of the night, his friends peacefully snuffling beside him.

His eyes were staring at the ceiling, yet he only saw the pictures in his head: all of the happy memories, that he wouldn't get to live through with her again, because he was such a loser and he lost her. He shook his head.

_Bloody hell, why won't that stupid memory of that girl just leave me alone?_

He tried to think about something else, but the images of his girlfriend in his mind wouldn't disappear, the blurry vision of his eyes not willing to focus on anything else beside those haunted images.

Brian was tearing up again, and he had to bite down on his lips not to make any sound. He had to get out of there...probably with some beer. Or any kind of alcoholic drink he could find in the house without waking his band mates up.

He successfully got out of the bed, and left the room as quickly as he could manage. He just needed to find a quiet place, where he could be alone with his thoughts until the morning came.

Freddie woke up to a loud swearing in the middle of the night. He could hear Roger and John jolting upwards, and a loud bang echoing through the darkness of the room.

"What the actual fuck was that?" Roger managed to somehow get out the words on his mouth, while massaging his head which he had hit on the bedtable before. At least the mystery of the loud noise was solved... But where did the swearing come from?

"Don't worry Rog. I'll go check it for you" a loud noise with a crashing sound made the other two men sure that Deaky's body met the floor with full force.

Freddie peeked out of behind Roger, to see if the bassist was alright. Deaky was laying spread out on the floor, and he didn't move a bit, but it seemed to be nothing serious beside of him still having his hangover. He also seemed determined to finish what he -not so successfully- started.

"As I was saying, I'll go check what happened..."

"Don't you dare, darling! That amount of alcohol still has it's effect... and you can get pretty nasty injuries from the floor!" Freddie smiled at the man who was still lying on the parquet.

John growled furiously. Obviously he wasn't too happy that Freddie ruined his heroic self-sacrifice. So when the singer offered him a helping hand, his pride refused to take it, although his head was screaming to grab something steady in the swirling room.

"No problem, Freddie, I can manage" he tried to get back to his feet, but could only nail sitting up onto the bed. For Deaky, standing up seemed to be some kind of witchcraft at the moment.

"Please just stay here... I can get you a nice glass of water, and some aspirins if you want? I don't want you hitting your head against the floor... Anything, darling, just please stay in bed." 

The singer was trying real hard to get the man back into bed, but nothing seemed to help. Finally, upon witnessing Freddie's failed attempt at convincing John to stay, Roger decided to take matters into his own hands.

He hugged John, who was struggling to stand up, from behind and brought his face close to the bassist's ear.

"What about this: If you stay here, you can spend some quality time with me... And who knows, maybe I'll let you finish what we started earlier?" Roger murmured seductively.

Giving more meaning to his words arter finishing his sentence, he bit down on the other's earlobe, just a little to drive him mad, but not enough to satisfy the brunette. 

Roger's move had been perfectly successful in seducing John. The poor bassist immediately collapsed back onto the bed, his face changing into a much redder colour. All he could do was nod, before Roger pulled him back again for a promising kiss.

"Khmm. I see my water can go and fuck itself. Have a nice evening guys!" Freddie aimed at their direction an almost furious, yet rather proud glare.

Roger's only answer was to wink and shoot out his tounge at Freddie, before two needy arms dragged him back under the covers.

After he was done with the two lovebirds, the singer could finally concentrate on doing what he intended from the beginning: finding Brian. He guessed the swearing must have come from him. 

_But why did he leave our bed? Did he find the situation too intimidating? Did he go back to sleep in the other bed? If so, then surely he must have heard us exchanging thoughts? But why didn't he come talk to us? What was the loud swearing about? Is Brian okay?_

Freddie's head was swirling with thoughts, and he only got distracted when he noticed that he earned a (why, he couldn't imagine) much colder part of their apartment. He was wearing only his pyjama trousers and a T-shirt, so it wasn't surprising that he felt rather cold.

Fighting the urge to cough, he quickly made it to the other bedroom, where he still didn't find no sign of Brian. He pulled one of the blankets off of the bed (it looked wrinkled, so Brian must have been there at some point), and twirled it around his body.

After a few failing attempts of moving (he always tripped at the covers, and he still felt the effect of hangover on himself which didn't really help in solving the problem), he managed to find the perfect way of covering himself with the blankets at last.

Now that was taken care of, he felt himself much more determined. He left the bedroom, and walked through the foyer, until he earned the curtains, which seemed to be the source of the cold. He drew the curtains away and found in front of him a big, open window.

He was looking at the glass wide eyed for a few minutes, before realising they had a small balcony.

_Jesus, I might have drank a little too much yesterday, forgetting we had a fucking balcony... Have I even seen it before or just can't remember it?_

However, what suprised him (more than the balcony itself), was the man, standing on it. 

The figure was gripping the handrails like mad, steadying himself the best he could.Yet, his actions were no use: his broad, but bony shoulders were shaking vividly, and his whole body was shivering; the exposed parts of his skin swimming in sweat.

It was in the middle of the night, so Freddie's eyes had troubles with seeing from the evening darkness, and only the lights of the street down under them helped him to guess what was possibly happening.

And still, despite of it all, it was easy to guess who this miserable person was, whose long, skinny legs were failing to keep his weight, and whose long, curly bangs were shining brightly in the dim moonlight.

Freddie was frightened, yet amazed of the situation he witnessed. Even on the edge of tears, of breaking down, Brian still looked like an angel.

As the moon escaped from the shadows of dark clouds, Freddie could watch as the tender moonlight slowly exposed all of Brian's features, his wrinkled clothes, his messy hair, his slim body -and God, wasn't that a beautiful sight?

Freddie just stood there and watched, his lips dry, and no word could escape from his mouth. He finally swallowed, and forced himself to speak.

"Bri..." Nice enough for a start.

The guitarist jumped up from the kneeling position, as he heard his name. He instantly moved his hands to wipe his eyes, and hoped that Freddie couldn't hear the miserable sound which has escaped from his throat just a moment ago.

"Fre-fred? What the hell are you doing here?" He hated how hoarse he sounded. Great, even his own voice betrayed him.

"What are you doin' here? Did I wake you up? I am very sorry, but you see everything is okay so you can go back to sleep, I just needed some air." _Okay, this almost sounded convincing. Now just a reassuring smile. You got this, you got this._

He pulled his mouth as wide as he could, forming a large grin, yet he felt it looked just as forced as the words he struggled with a moment ago. What's more, his own, horrific smile just made his nose more itchy and his eyes watery again.

Nevertheless he kept up his smile feeling if he let it down, all of his facade would go up in flames, and he'd have nothing to protect the other from seeing him breaking down.

Freddie just looked at him, his eyes scared and helpless, and Brian knew Freddie didn't believe a word he said.

"Bri, you know you can tell us everything"

_But if I end up with you like with her?_

"We love you, Bri"

_So did she._

"So tell me, why don't you trust us?"

A single teardrop escaped and ran down Brian's cheek. Freddie emerged from his position, and wiped down Brian's tear with a steady hand.

A gentle act that might have been, but it seemed to be the pressure point the guitarist feared so much. He tried on continuing smiling, but it didn't help at all. He was standing there with his face white as a sheet, grinning like a madman, his nose running while he just couldn't keep the tears in anymore.

He started to cry, first silently, then strange, gawking sounds kept on coming from behind his closed teeth. He looked like a mindless psychopath, who was backfired by his own trap. His cover was blown to pieces. To itsy-bitsy, useless pieces, and Brian was nothing without it.

His body was suddenly pressed against the smaller man's, and he let out a surprised sound. Freddie was holding him tightly in place, with no sign of letting him go soon.

Brian's face was emotionless for a minute, then returned the hug with shaking hands, clinging into Freddie's shirt madly. All of Brian's walls have fallen down, his grin finally fading, he was crying and screaming like a child.

The loudness couldn't get past their bandmates' ears. A few minutes passed, and Freddie could see Roger appearing at the door of the balcony. He shood the drummer away with his hand.

"Not now, Roger" he mouthed.

"Freddie what-" the other whispered back.

"I've got him, Rog. Go" Roger just stayed in his place unsure of what to do.

Freddie tried to give him the most convincing yet terrifying look he could manage, saying he got things in his hands and it'd be nice if Roger would just kindly leave it to him.

A weak plan that might have been, but luckily it seemed to work. The drummer took one last worrying glance at Brian, then took his leave without a word, for Freddie's greatest pleasure.

It was enough of a mortification for poor Brian to cry while Freddie was there, he didn't need the whole band at the minute.

 _Maybe later he'll be able to face them_ Freddie decided. _But not now._

_Right now, he can't even look me in the eye properly... And first, I need to solve that problem before worrying about anything else._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title idea from Queen's A Night at the Opera album.  
> Thanks everyone for reading this! I've been quite sick recently, but now I'm getting better which means I'll be able to update more. Thanks for your patience, you guys are amazing!


	4. My feelings are true, I really love you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian comes to a realization as he's having a touching moment with Freddie on the balcony.

The singer could feel Brian's fingernails marking his body through his shirt. It would've been such a pleasant feeling if this happened during more merrier circumstances....

But now it just only reminded Freddie of how much their situation was fucked up. Freddie was the one whose head still hurt like hell, and who felt like the world was spinning around him. Who was mistreaded, cheated, and robbed. He should be crying, not Brian with his happy life, tons of friends, education and a girlfriend. Not Brian who was kindhearted, smart and soo indecribly sexy. No, Brian deserved _everything_ in this world. But not this.

He pulled his arms closer around the guitarist, and inhaled the scent of him, but instead of the usual, heartwarming scent he felt something completely else. Something, which should have been hanging on him yesterday, and not on Brian tonight. He broke the hug, and tried to balance himself. No, he must be imagining things.

Freddie knew the heavy smell of too much liquor all too well. But he didn't go anywhere that day? Has he gotten this wasted while they were sleeping? Alone, in the balcony? God, what if he had slipped and hit his head, or worse if he had fallen off and Freddie was too late...

Freddie stepped back, his face in an unpleasant grimace, when his foot got caught in his cover. As he acted in haste, trying to hold onto anything in his swirling world, he managed to grab Brian's wrist, but neither of them could keep their balance, and they came crashing down on the floor, Brian on top of Freddie. 

"Oh-oh my god Fred, are you alright?" Freddie didn't even have time to realise what has happened but Brian was already off of him. 

"I'm so sorry Fred, I didn't mean to-"

The singer tried to tell Brian that he was okay, but when he moved his lips he found that no voice had come out of his mouth. His throat gone dry, his tounge felt like it froze in it's place, his lips not willing to form even a single word. Instead he felt something rising in his chest, and moments later he was gawking like a fish on the shore.

Relief came in a form of a coughing fit, and he rolled onto his side to vomit. When he finally finished, he wiped his mouth with a shaking hand, not daring to look at Brian because of how pathetic he looked. He was curled up in a ball, almost lying in his own vomit, crying silent tears in the cover of his shoulders.

"Fred. Please sit up"

The singer shook his head quietly, and stayed right where he was, gripping onto his own shirt helplessly. The other took none of Freddie's stubborness, and the short haired man could feel himself being lifted up by Brian's strong arms. He was lifted into a kneeling position, but he kept his head lowered.

"Freddie, dear, for my sake?"

He didn't intend to actually listen to the other man's words, but the unusual phrase from Brian got the better out of him.

When he looked up he couldn't help but wince at the sight. Freddie's chocolate eyes met with Brian's sea blue ones, searching for any signs of how he was feeling right now.

Yet Freddie didn't see neither the usually determined and scolding, noir the calm and reassuring look he usually shared with his bandmates to help them through the hard times. He got lost in the guitarist deep blue eyes, but no matter how long he looked, he could only find incredible pain in them. Hell, the case was worse than Freddie had thought.

From the two kneeling man, Brian moved first. He tried to reach for Freddie's hand, then like he wasn't sure himself, he stopped in his movement. Other silent minutes passed with the two of them staring at each other, then with a sudden determination, Brian grabbed Freddie's wrist powerfully, yet still as careful as a gentleman would hold the hand of his beloved one.

He slowly brought Freddie's palm to meet his. When their hands touched, a shiver run through Freddie's body, and he just wasn't able to tore his gaze away from their meeting hands. They both were shaking, their palms staying in touch like they were glued to each other. An intimate silence fell between them, and both men had tears glistening in their eyes.

"See Fred? Don't worry, you're not the only one who is completely fucked up. You don't have to be ashamed of nothing"

The singer couldn't look away from the guitarist. Brian being infront of him, almost perfectly mirroring his emotions at the moment, looking just as helpless as he himself was.

Brian's words almost shattered his soul: why was he in such a bad state? What happened? Did they do something bad? Freddie tried to hush his thoughts away, but the harsh answer got stuck in his mind: of course the band was the cause. They always did something to drive Brian up the wall.

Especially Freddie: no matter how much he loved Brian, and tried to show that, he always fucked up somehow. He knew on stage he was the best, but in real life he found Brian such a more valuable human being, that he sometimes hated himself for being Freddie Mercury.

Brian didn't need to create a mask for people to like him: he was smart, kind and took good care of his friends. Though he was quite sensitive, he was really helpful and could get on well with people way more easily than Freddie could in his personal life.

Freddie adored Brian, but couldn't help feeling a little jealous over him, and when his jealousy worsened, his bitchy personality just must have commented on why Brian's work was garbage, and how he didn't even listen to Freddie or the rest of the band, always thinking about himself.

The problem was the singer had these concerns about himself, and not the poor guitarist who had to listen to his outrages. And Brian was taking these seizures of Freddie more and more furiously in the past few weeks.

He must have snapped at one point -Freddie thought- and being the peaceful person he was, he didn't tell anyone, not even Freddie. Brian just drowned his problems in alcohol, and was probably drinking even before the other entered the balcony, Freddie realized as he noticed a half filled bottle next to them.

"I am so sorry Brian"

He tried to stay as strong as possible, yet his words were barely hearable. He moved his hand away from the other's touch and ran it through his own hair.

"You shouldn't bother defending me. I should be very ashamed of what we've- we... I've done. And believe me I am!"

His eyes were wet again. His vision got blurry, and his voice sounded different but he just kept talking -or at this point, rather shouting.

"I just can't show it... Fuck, everything they say is true, I am a horrible man! I'm sorry Brian. Don't you understand?! _I am sorry!_ "

  
His anger stopped, and was replaced with an other, even more unpleasent feeling: fright. All of the anger disappeared from his voice, leaving him silent, and unsure of what to say.

"J-just don't leave us, please. They... I couldn't bear it." _Not after yesterday. That prick was enough. Please not you too._

He was shaking again. A single teardrop fell from his glistening, dark eyes.

"I beg you" he whispered.  
 _I beg you, I beg you, I beg you..._

Freddie clenched his hands at his forehead, and was staring down, too frightened of how the other might look at him. When he gathered his courage to look up again, he found Brian was staring with a puzzled look on his face.

It took the guitarist some minutes, but as he finally seemed to understand what Freddie was talking about, he broke out in laughter leave the singer confused as hell. Freddie was looking at the guitarist frightened: did he misunderstood something? Or was this Brian finally losing it?

"Don't worry Fred, I am not troubled over your childish behaviour. Though it was quite an epic apology, I'll give you that" the other grinned as his face lit up with impish glee.

"Then pray enlighten me of what is your _real_ problem" the raven haired man said through gritted teeth, not as amused as the other that he just made a fool of himself.

Brian frowned, and Freddie feared he made the wrong decision by being a little sarcastic, but just as he decided to change the topic, Brian spoke up.

"It's about me and Lily... We've got into an argument a few weeks ago, and she-"

"What? What argument?"

_Oh no, too soon, too enthusiastic. Brian'll notice this, which is not good._

Brian did sent a questioning gaze towards Freddie, but continued nevertheless.

"She was having a problem with you... And the band. I mean we took too much time to practice, and with all the tours and stuff she felt left out, and she had enough. We broke up. The End."

Wow, it was also nice to say out loud. It has ended, just the memories remaining of her. Brian almost felt relieved, but with a sudden question, Freddie made him stop breathing.

"I'm so sorry Brian... But I have to ask, what problems did she have with me? I mean, I know I'm as perfect as perfect can be, but y'know people's opinion do interest me sometimes..."

He stopped speaking as he witnessed how the other man's face lost all its color within a few seconds. Brian was whiter than the wall, and he almost had a panic attack, as far as Freddie could tell.

The guitarist looked at Freddie, thoughts racing in his troubled mind.

_How could I answer that? Did he see how shaken I was? His face is scared, of course he knows now. Should I just lie? But fuck, he already knows this is a hard topic, I can't get away with an easy answer. I should say something..._

_With every passing minute his mind will try to guess what's going on, and I can't let him find out before I could tell him. Do I think for too long? God, what must Freddie think of me?_

"I-I'm sorry... It's just the memories are-"

"It's okay, take your time"

_He is not convinced, he knows something else is the problem. Fuck_

"She said... She said that she hated you...and was jealous of you, because, well, I got on well more with you than she did with me" And she said much more, but Freddie didn't need to hear that. 

"Is that all? God you two are such drama queens breaking up like that. I wouldn't fuck anybody who is sooo sensitive like her!"

"No, in her opinion, you were fucking me..."  
Freddie's face immedietly flashed to a much redder colour.

_No, I didn't intend to say that. Fuck me, and my slippy mouth!_

"E-excuse me? I think your girl had finally lost it..." That's what normal people would say, right?

"You've heard it right"

Brian inhaled sharply. He didn't have a choice. He started it, and now the only direction was forward.

He suddenly felt the pain of losing her loving girlfriend, just because Freddie fucking Mercury thought he could do everything he wanted. Brian was burning with anger. Freddie wanted to know the details? Fine, he'll get everything.

"I guess if someone hadn't seduced me all the time, this wouldn't have happened? If someone didn't rub himself against me during shows, didn't talk soo lovingly about me, eyefucked me everytime?"

"The single touches, the petnames, the time we spent together, you biting down on my leg -My leg? My thighs, for god's sake!- during shows, no, I guess she _really_ just invented this to have a reason for breaking up!"

And the problem was that he realised this just now: the pain he was feeling, the heavy thing he couldn't fight of his chest was that... That she was right. He was closer to Freddie than any other person, and he didn't exactly hated that. 

You could say he loved all the attention he got from Freddie... Just as much as he loved the singer himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Does anyone else remembers this fic? No?Anyway I'm back, and really hope this "quarantine-holiday" will give me more time to write W̶h̶i̶c̶h̶ ̶I̶'̶l̶l̶ ̶d̶e̶l̶i̶b̶e̶r̶a̶t̶e̶l̶y̶ ̶s̶p̶e̶n̶d̶ ̶o̶n̶ ̶d̶o̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶s̶o̶m̶e̶t̶h̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶e̶n̶t̶i̶r̶e̶l̶y̶ ̶e̶l̶s̶e̶.  
> Hope you liked reading this, let me know what you've thought! Next chapter in production ;)


	5. Love Is In The Air

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian came to a realization on the balcony, but what's he going to do with it? He decides they just need some sleep to figure things out, but as excepted, in this story things don't go the way Brian plans them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little warning: for the following chapters be ready for some implied sexual content. Remember, you have been warned ;P

_And the problem was that he realised this just now: the pain he was feeling, the heavy thing he couldn't fight of his chest was that... That she was right. He was closer to Freddie than any other person, and he didn't exactly hated that._

_You could say he loved all the attention he got from Freddie... Just as much as he loved the singer himself._

* * *

Brian didn't know anymore what to think: he wasn't the type of guy Freddie would be interested in, and for god's sake Brian was straight! Or so he thought, until now. And what if Freddie just did all of this because of, well, he was Freddie?

All Brian knew he was standing there without neither a girl, noir a boyfriend and he felt so alone. He hated crying infront of others, but this helplessness just made him tear up even more. 

He was so angry about the other's behaviour, but loved him so much and knew Freddie didn't mean to hurt him, not to speak about that he loved every second he spent with the younger man. She was right. She made him choose, and he chose the singer. God, just why did this took so much to understand? Now it might be too late.

"Bri, Bri please don't cry! This is why you didn't join us today?"

Brian couldn't answer. He only cried when he was alone, and usually he was the one who comforted his bandmates, not the otherway around. He wasn't accustomed to be cared so much about, so he just silently nodded in agreement.

"And why you were drunk?" 

Another silent nod.

"Bri, you don't need to... We're always here for you"

He placed his hand on Brian's back, rubbing smoothing circles into his soft skin.

"Freddie, you are crying too. What happened?" Brian's inner mom immediately kicked in, no matter how desperately he needed some comfort in that moment.

"Just... Just a fucker in the club we were. He stole my wallet (and also my heart) when he slided his hand into my jeans."

"My poor Fred! I guess I'm not the only one then who sucks at relationships... And who's also a crybaby."

"And I guess we're both bad with alcohol... But now shut up, you are being comforted!"

Brian let out a suprised sound as Freddie closed his arms around Brian. It was unusual to receive and not to give a hug. Unusual, but not in the wrong way. His hands were stuck as Freddie held him close, protecting him from all the sad and angry feelings, letting in only pure love and nothing else. It was the second time they hugged that evening, but God, Brian wished it hadn't been the last!

Minutes passed, and the only sound heard was their rapid breathing. It was still a very pleasant feeling, being pressed into each others warm bodies, but eventually the cold morning air crept through their clothes, making Freddie shiver into Brian. The guitarist pulled back.

"What about we head back, before you catch a terrible cold, darling?"

"R-really? Just a few days without a girlfriend and you're already using petnames? I can't wait to see what comes next..."

Freddie wiggled his eyebrows seductively, and Brian pushed him away laughing.

"Okay, I get it you couldn't fuck anyone tonight, but please, please don't take it out on me... It's already far too much to watch Roger and Deaky being all lovey dovey, not you too!"

"Oh Brian, when did you get so unromantic?"

Brian did a dramatic eyeroll, then grabbed the balcony's rail for support and suceeded in standing up.

"Uhm, a little help maybe?" Brian looked back seeing Freddie, who was still sitting with spreaded legs, eyes troubled on how he should stand up without either falling out of the balcony or falling into his own vomit.

"Here, let me help you" Brian offered still holding the rail with one hand, reaching for Freddie's hand with the other.

Freddie gladly accepted and together, they stumbled back into the house. 

"I don't think about getting back into our room. Rog and Deaky are probably doing..."

"Each other"

"Yeah, exacty Bri. Soo, what are we gonna do?"

"There is one more double bed, so go and get in that, you already look cold as fuck. I'll go and clean the mess in the balcony, and also bring back your blanket. You can use mine until I get back. I'll also make some tea for you and-

"Bri, just don't overdo yourself 'kay?"

Freddie touched Brian's cheek with his freezing hand, yet the tall man felt like his face was on fire.

"I'll wait for you in bed when you're finished"

The performer pulled out a dazzling grin he usually entertained the crowd with, then vanished into the room.

Brian stood there, glaring at the place where the other had stood only seconds before, his cheeks reddening more and more with each minute passing.

"Fucking tease" he muttered to himself, then went to clean up after themselves.

* * *

When Brian entered their room with two steamy mugs in his hands and Freddie's cover on his shoulder, he found Freddie sitting on the bed, his back leaning against the wall, snuffling peacefully as he slept.

He smiled at the relaxed man, and put their teas down onto the nightstand, before looking out the window only to see that there was still dark outside, although the pitch black sky has turned into a dull grey, with clouds lingering over the city. 

How funny that on the contrary, inside their room everything was so lovely. Freddie's tranquil rest, the adorable sound he let out with every breath, their two warm mugs next to their bed, and most importantly, the inviting empty space next to Freddie. 

The curly haired man first slowly dragged out the blanket from under Freddie, then lifted the sitting man to a laying position, and after placing his head carefully onto the pillow, tucked him in with the cover. 

After succeeding, Brian lifted his own duvet from his shoulders and hopped down next to Freddie, lifting his tea with a satisfied look on his face. He sipped some of the hot liquid, and thought about how strange these two days had been. 

First they had a show where he almost broke down crying, then he felt so useless he had to use alcohol to forget about his problems, then he had a drunk journey back to their hotel (which is infact suprising how they even made it out alive), then a short sleep, spending a full day helping his poor bandmates, insomnia, drinking on the balcony... How the hell did things manage to get better? 

He didn't know, but things did got better after all. Freddie followed him outside, and though they both had a mental breakdown, Brian could finally let go of his ex-lover, and realized he was in love with their band leader! And then they hugged, and Freddie flirted with Brian, (which happened usually, but still!), and everything went way too smoother in the end than he expected.

The guitarist put down his empty cup and lowered himself into a laying position, rolling at his side so he could see Freddie. He was sleeping just as deeply as before, and Brian's hand, how he didn't know, found its way into Freddie's short raven hair. 

First he just patted the others head awkwardly, but then he started caressing the dark hair, which was still a little sticky from the hair gel used for their show before. Finally, he found a spot he particularly enjoyed rubbing: where his haircut just covered Freddie's neck, the hair was ever so soft that Brian just couldn't stop himself from touching it.

"Aggh" Freddie let out a needy moan, and Brian immediately drew back, his face in a much lively colour than before.

It didn't matter though that he stopped stroking, the singer just kept whining, with his eyes closed. Brian decided to wake up Freddie before things had completely gone out of hand.

"Ugghh, who- what is it?"

The poor awakened man looked around confused, his lingering gaze coming to a stop, focusing on Brian, then the bed. 

"Aww, my ass hurts like hell... Wait have we fucked already?

" What-noo?! T-that is- no!!! It's just- It's just probably from sitting at the b-balcony y'see-"

"Okay, Brian, just keep your voice down... Jesus, it was just an innocent question, I don't know why you have to-"

"Innocent question? If we had sex?!"

"Okay, sorry. Just please don't shout! I have enough of a hangover without you making it worse..."

_Inner mom mode switch: on._

"Of course Fred. Do you need anything? I can bring you a glass of water, or can even warm up your tea again, or-"

He was just getting out of bed, when a fierce grip stopped him.

"Please don't leave Bri. You are the only thing I need right now" Freddie begged, sounding incredibly sad. 

Brian didn't know if it was because the previous happenings in the bar, or if Freddie was this lonely, but he couldn't say no to Freddie's puppy eyes.  
Breathe Brian, Breathe! Nice you're as red as a tomato... Again.

"O-of course.... If that's what you prefer" 

It was getting more brighter, and although outside everything still looked lifeless, in the light Brian could explore more and more features of Freddie's beautiful face. He layed back down into their bed, turning to face Freddie and for a few minutes none of them talked, a comfortable silence settling over them. 

Brian couldn't help, but stare at that amazing man laying infront of him, with his hands tucked under his chin. He looked at Freddie's messy, short hair, examined his slim, yet toned arms, his strong nose, his sharp jawline, his stupid moustache, his adorable teeth which he always tried to hide, but were still visible from the cover of his lips, and those lips which looked soo kissable at the moment.

"Freddie..." Brian broke the silence, his voice barely hearable.

"Brian what-" he cut himself of, when he saw Brian was fighting with his tears again.

"I think"

_This is it. I'm telling him the truth. He's gonna throw me out. Out of this room, of Queen, of my world. But I just can't take it any longer._

His breath was dragged, and no matter how many times he blinked, the tears still hadn't left. His throat felt dry, and all he could manage was a short whisper

"I-i think she might have been right"

Brian watched Freddie staring at him, when the singer finally understood what he meant. But instead of the horrified look Brian was searching for on Freddie's face, he found something entirely different.

"Oh, Brian, darling. For how long you have feelings towards me?"

"I d-don't k-know. It just, well, happened, but I came to this realization only today"

The guitarist still cried silent tears, when Freddie pulled him into a hug, there, on the bed, both of them still lying. 

Brian snobbed into the hug. This was the end, wasn't it? Freddie pitied him, and was just thinking about how to reject Brian kindly. He was just starting to say, that it's no problem, and he should probably go anyway, when...

"Me, since the beginning"

_Wait did-_

"You really said that you loved me since-?"

Freddie let go of Brian, both of them sitting up, avoiding any eyecontact.

"Who wouldn't, Bri? You are the nicest, smartest, sexiest men I'd ever met, I fell for you the day I saw you playing in Smile. I was even jealous of Roger for some time..."

Brian let out a laugh. He wasn't usually the reason of jealousy, and it was entertaining to imagine young Freddie with his middle length black hair, getting furious over how college Brian and trainee dentist Roger spend too much time together. Yet he got unsure of himself again.

"Then why didn't you say anything? I thought you had a few boyfriends during the years..."

Freddie was obviously irritated by this question.

"You know, I may not look like it, but I do respect people's choices... And I respected that you weren't- weren't into guys. I gave up on you a lot of times, but heh I guess...I just couldn't love others for too long"

Freddie now looked broken, and Brian couldn't help but wonder how many times Freddie tried to love somebody, but couldn't. How many arguments must he had, how many shattered dreams, how many times he woke up alone in a cold bed...

_Fuck, I shouldn't have asked him, not after that guy tonight in the bar._

But now it wasn't time for grief. He was there for Freddie, and he had to show it.

"Freddie, I am sorry you had to go through all of this. But I'm here right now and I-"

Freddie finally looked up at him, hope glistening in his shining dark eyes.

"I-"

_Come on Brian, you can do this._

"I love you"

Freddie suddenly changed their position, and pinned Brian, who was now laying on his back, to the bed. Freddie sat on Brian's stomach, and leaned in, so their reddening faces were only millimetres apart.

"You can not imagine how long I've been waiting for this..."

The other stayed silent, knowing if he opened his mouth, he'd most likely let out an emotional, but rather incoherent babble, ruining this precious moment. 

"I love you too" Freddie whispered, and leant fully in. 

Their lips met hungrily, but their noses bumped, Freddie's moustache was tickling Brian's nose and someway -only God knows how- Brian's curly hair found its way into both of their mouthes. 

Freddie pulled away leaving Brian frightened as hell.

"I'm sorry Fred, I've messed it up, right?"

Freddie smiled genuinely.

"Only the slightest"

Both of them started laughing like idiots, until they were breathless, and their eyes started to water.

"Here, let me help you darling"

Freddie touched the others cheek then gently moved Brian's head, so his nose was out of the way. He giggled at the sight of Brian's face who was completely frozen from his actions. The singer then adjusted Brian's hair, so none of them inhaled it again. When he was done with the soft curls, he grabbed the still mesmerized Brian's hands, and placed it on his waist.

"Are you ready?"

Brian looked at Freddie with a mischievous grin, then singed.

"Ready Freddie"

"Oh you little shit" was Freddie's last words, as he felt Brian pulling him down. 

Freddie let his hands wonder onto Brian's hair, and with a crush their lips met. It was lovely, lustful, and far more needy than their previous kiss. Freddie begged for entrance with his tounge, which the other gladly offered. 

Brian pushed up his hips, brushing together their crotches. The singer let out a surprised moan, but reacted quickly, and soon they were rocking their groins together, wordlessly agreeing in a slow but steady rythm. 

They were both breathing hardly, kissing at each other's mouth with great passion, and were all in all so caught up in the moment, that they didn't even hear the quiet creaking of the opening door behind them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes I'm running out of creative titles.  
> Anyway, welcome everybody, only a little left of this story! I plan to update the last chapter in the following days.  
> Thank you for reading this, if you've liked this chapter please show it some love, and let me know what you thought in the comments. I'm always eager to read your reaction! 😍


	6. Love Me Like There's No Tomorrow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For everyone's relief, this one hell of a night comes to an end. After so many tears and pain, Freddie finds himself at Brian's side, finally feeling loved and accepted.

"Ewww, don't look there Deaky, you're too innocent for this!"

The two kissing men jolted back from their previous location, though Freddie was still sitting, freezing in place right there, on Brian's crotch.

They looked absolutely horrified as they stared at the two entering figure, Roger and John, the second man fighting eagerly to get down the two hands blocking his vision.

"Guys, what the hell?" was only John's question after he managed to kick Roger off of him.

"You talking, darling? I had to come out of your room because you were so on top of each-"

"No, that's not-" Roger tried to speak, but seeing Freddie's satisfied he knew he had no chance at clearing their names

"Anyways, we just wanted to ask if Brian was okay... Man, you looked pretty broken when I saw you with Fred!"

Brian looked confused, and Freddie, after a sweet kiss, finally climbed off of him, so he could normally sit up.

"Yeah, Brimi, Roger looked out for a minute, but I've assumed you could be more open if only one of us was there"

Brian grinned at the old nickname, but then he looked at the two intruder, and his face darkened again.

"I'm okay guys... Really. I've...might had a breakdown, but it's okay 'cause Freddie had one too, so I wasn't alone"

"Hey!" Freddie protested loudly smacking Brian on the shoulder.

"What? I'm just telling the truth" he winked at Freddie who just shoot out his tongue as an answer.

"Guys, keep it in your pants... We came to comfort Bri, but I'm afraid Fred has already done our work" the bassist spoke.

"No, it's fine... Actually it's very nice of you two... What do you say? We could group hug..." Brian started

"And then spend the day indoors..." John continued.

"Relax a little..." Roger said

"Aaand all of us could fuck our chosen band member?"

"Freddie you perverse bastard!" Shouted the other three almost in union, breaking down in laughter.

"Come here you idiots" Brian giggled and spread his arms, welcoming John, who was first to join, snuggling up to the taller man.

"Mhhmm, you are so warm Bri"

"Deacon, don't you dare stealing my Darling from me!" Freddie sent a death glare while joining their hug, making the two guitarist laugh their asses off.

Roger examined the three others, and looked pretty unsure of where to join in. Should he at all? He didn't like giving hugs all that much, and afterall.

"Come here baby" John spoke on a cocky tone, interrupting the others thoughts, and he held out his hand for Roger to grab.

"Oh such a good old fashioned lover boy, are we?"  
John and Roger grinned at each other, as the blonde finally joined their group.

Their bodies pressed against each other's, all of them being as close to each other as it was humanly possible. There was love and comfort in the air around them, and nobody could have been happier in that moment. They felt like family, a little messed up, a little weird, but amazing family.

Their hearts was filled with emptiness as they thought about pulling away, but eventually they had to do so much if they didn't want to suffocate their poor bassit on the middle.

"Thanks... I-I guess I really needed that" Brian muttered being quite embarrassed, as he retreated his hands.

"Don't worry Bri, you weren't the only one" Freddie smiled at him reassuringly, then moved his gaze to the others.

They all stood there feeling moved, smiling at each other. Hell, they were all so beautiful, and Freddie was so glad they've met. He looked back at his love, whose face mirrored exactly Freddie's emotions.

Brian's hand found Freddie's, entwining their fingers together. His face immediately reddened at the embrace, but he squeezed back showing how happy he was for having Brian.

He was so proud of them, all of them being such great friends and such talented musicians. He didn't know how long they would be together playing music, and annoying each other to death, but God he wished they'd all live forever, so this would never end.

From his melancholic thoughts a cough awakened him, shaking through his whole body and bringing him back to a much darker part of reality. He hid it well from the others, but he was having problems with his throat more nowadays.

It was probably because he worked it too much, and was restless until he sang everything perfectly. He was also singing almost all day, and he just had a concert so it was natural if his throat hurt like hell, right? God, he really hoped so.

He couldn't help the nagging feeling though that something was wrong. He knew about what was spreading amongst, well, men like him, of course he knew!

But all those people who passed away seemed so... distant. He has never met with them personally, and only knew a few of them from face.

And this -he gulped a big, as only thinking about the word made his shiver to his bones- This _disease_ couldn't spread with just breathing the same air... Right? Or he wasn't as safe as he thought before?

All these questions, and no answers! It was so sick and maddening, and he felt oh so powerless, as he was losing control over the situation and even his own thoughts.

Freddie pulled his arms around himself defensively, his hand unconsciously hovering over the little purplish dot he discovered merely a year ago on the inside if his upper arm.

"Love?"

_Ohh yes, Brian and the band... They're still here Freddie, how on earth could you have forgotten that??_

The singer looked up to see the other's scared faces and he felt his heart almost breaking. He had to ease their worries... They had already been through a lot.

Freddie lowered his arms, and pulled his best stage-smile. Right now, worrying was his, and only his problem.

He wiped at his mouth with his hand, and tried not to think about why he smelt the salty aroma of blood all of a sudden.

Comforting his worried band mates was his only job now. Getting a heart attack for why the hell he was coughing up blood was a later point in his schedule.

"Fuck, this was one hell of a concert" The band slowly nodded, but the question of Freddie's quick change of mood remained written on their faces.

"I-I guess I overworked myself a little... So I'll put this break into great use, won't you?"

He saw his friends visibly relax a little. The worry lifted from their faces, and Freddie already felt ten times better, cracking an honest grin this time.

"Now, what about we return to our rooms with our chosen guitarist" he winked at Roger" and make this one hell of a day?"

The blonde laughed and hooked onto the bass guitarist.

"What do ya say Deacon? Give it a go, huh?"

John's only answer was a little giggle, but Roger found that entirely satisfying.

"Then come along now, sir. We have some important things to attend to" Roger cocked his eyebrows at his lover, and John was laughing again, poking Rog on the ribs, muttering something along the lines of "You miserable twat, I love you so much".

They waved the other two goodbye, then left them heading to their own room with a spring in their steps.

"Sooo, Freddie. When you've said you want to make this one hell of a day, you've meant..."

"That I want to spend the whole day fucking and cuddling?"

"Perfect plan for me" Brian grinned, his face reddening again.

"Now, where -um- I mean- do you have...?" Freddie silenced the struggling guitarist with a soft kiss, speaking against his lips.

"Everything's in the cupboard, darling"

Brian went to find their things, finding it a good opportunity to hide his blushing face from the other amused man. However when the guitarist didn't look, Freddie's face hardened again.

"Brian?"

"Yes, dear?"

Freddie took a deep breath. He was struggling with himself: should he bore Brian right now with his insecurities? After all they went through tonight? When both of them were so eager to finally get a real taste of each other?

He wouldn't let all his fucking worries stand in the way of their love, he decided. He wouldn't let anything stand in their way, and this was no exception.

He drew another shaky breath, until he calmed down enough to speak.

"You are the love of my fucking life. You know that, don't you?"

Brian stood still for a minute, then grabbed what he was looking for, and threw it up onto the bed, before he himself joined Freddie there.

He looked into his singer's deep eyes, at a loss for words, but it didn't take long until he was smiling again.

"I love you too, my Soul Brother. A-and don't you ever dare to forget that!"

Freddie snickered at the other being so sincere. _So adorable...He really loves me, doesn't he?_

"Wasn't my intention, darling" he felt Brian softly grabbing his arm and he let the other to pull him in, kneeling above the laying guitarist, with a mischevious sparkle in both of their eyes.

For moments they were just staring at each other, taking in all the beautiful features of the other, then almost at once their faces started approaching and they were kissing with such heat and determination as if this was the hundredth, and not the second time they ever did it.

Freddie felt his heart getting lighter, as if all his problems were solved the minute their lips met.

"I love you so much" the singer told Brian with a whisper, his voice as soft and gentle as an evening braze.

_If anything happens and I won't be able to say it again. He needs to know I mean it._

"I love ya so fuckin much, darling"

Freddie whispered the second time that evening, and Brian's lips were on his again, proving how fucking much he loved the other too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello guys! Wow I can't believe it, but I've finished my first fic 😵  
> Thanks for anyone who's been sticking around, it was lovely to write this, when all of you were so supportive and positive about it.  
> How did you like it? Did you have any other plans for the ending? I personally made myself sad with my own story, so I'm gonna go lay in a corner now 😌  
> Thanks again for reading this 💖💖

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys!  
> This is my first story here, and I'm really excited (aand quite nervous) to see what you guys think of it. I can't wait to see your opinions and suggestions, so please leave a comment or kudos if you feel like it.  
> Thanks for reading, I hope I'll be able to bring the next chapter soon!  
> (PS: I intend to write the other chapters longer, this is just the prologue :))


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